Blessings and Heartache

The last few weeks have been tough and that is putting it mild. With Zach’s birthday days seemed a little longer. On Halloween morning Maddie Grace woke us up singing happy birthday to her brother. It was so sweet, a tear jerker too. We did enjoy family time together and even got in a little trick or treating, in the rain and mess. She was Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, and was just precious I found a lady on Etsy to make her costume and it was cute as a button.
As the day wore on Kyle and I new that the time had come to break the news to Maddie Grace. After more than a year of infertility treatments, 100’s of shots, blood draws and ultrasounds, God has blessed us with a baby. When we told Maddie Grace she was so excited all she could do was say “momma I am so proud of you”. If she only knew just how proud we are of her for all she has been through over the past 2 years and what a wonderful little girl she is growing into.
So yes we have been blessed with what we have prayed so hard for, we have known for a while but wanted to keep things under wraps until we were further along, things have gone very smooth so far, minus the continual sickness that zofran has no effect on so I am now on phenergan, which has seemed to help some. The baby is growing and looks great, I am being watched so close I will have more ultrasound pictures of this child than anyone has ever seen. We will be due at the end of May if all goes as planned.
As excited as we are about our new baby it brings up a host of emotions and feelings that we are dealing with one day at a time. Fears of something happening and fears that somehow our sweet Zach thinks we are trying to replace him. We had many long talks about this and we both know that no child will ever replace Zach that they will only add another member to our family. So I will be a mom of 3. Something I always wanted. Two nights ago while coloring Maddie Grace asked, “if this baby lives can I help change diapers? We do not know what the future holds or if something will or will not happen, but I quickly responded that this baby was in Gods hands and he would protect him and not to worry about what happened with Zach. She feels the stress and pressure just like we do. It took Kyle quite a few days to really take it in but as my waist line has started to expand I told him there was no getting around it anymore. I have been so sick I have lost weight although you would not know that from my belly. Please keep us in your prayers as we make this amazing journey God has presented us with, “we prayed for this child and god granted our prayers” Pray for a very healthy pregnancy and for the things we will have to face in the next months, Zach’s room, birth and all the emotions involved and getting past the point we had Zach. We know our new doctors are watching me very close along with a perinatologist. Praying for a healthy baby no matter what.